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Can you drive straight to Chessee Landing but get lost on
the way to Citadel Mall? When your landlubber
friends ask “What IS that smell?” Do you
reply, “That’s just neoprene. It’s
supposed to smell like that.” Complete the
following short quiz to determine if you may be afflicted with OKD.
How many kayaks do you own?
(Additional point for each boat beyond two.)
Can you move your kayak from car top to launch in less than five
minutes?
Have you launched from more than ten different landings in
the past year? (Extra credit – one point
for each landing above fifteen)
When your co-workers comment on the weather, do you respond
with the time of the next tide change?
Have you ever layered
for a night-out at the movies?
Are your Continuing
Education classes taught on Tybee Island?
Is your Internet homepage set to the Folly Surf Cam or the
LCP Show-n-Go page?
Are you on a first name basis with Time Out Dave or Maui
Mike?
You are heading out the door on a first date when you notice
it’s raining. Do you grab your paddle
jacket? (Bonus point if your date
understands.)
After a paddle, have you worn your paddling clothes in the
shower to wash them or have you ever added soap to the tub and grape-stomped neoprene
or HydroSkins?
Is the ECC&K Festival marked on your calendar? (Extra point if you have already told your
boss you will be out that Friday.)
Total up the points – one point for each yes or true
answer. If you scored 10 or higher, then
you may suffer from OKD. Please consult your
paddling provider.
According to DSM V (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of mental disorders, yet to be released
edition), a patient suffering OKD cannot be treated. Conventional wisdom, now under research at
the esteemed Paddling.net, suggests showering the patient with more equipment
and providing subject with additional paddling opportunities while slowly
weaning her/him from non-paddling friends and family.
Unlike most mental disorders, OKD is highly contagious. Non-paddlers should avoid club meetings and
monthly paddles. In particular, they
should avoid Show-n-Go events where OKD is often endemic.
On a mid-December paddle to Bull Island, Sue Kershaw
suggested that I was “obsessed” after I stated that this was my fourth paddle
in less than a week. (Gotta love
December in the Lowcountry.)
The day before, twenty-five club members had paddled from
Prices Landing down Horseshoe Creek, up Chessee Creek to its landing, ate lunch
around Scott’s campfire, and then returned via goat canal to Prices. Seven
of us had continued beyond the landing and up Horseshoe Creek to the Highway 64
Bridge.
Now, less than 24 hours after the club paddle, nineteen
kayaks glided towards Bull Island on Leslie Maple’s Show-n-Go. So, Sue, you were on both paddles, including the
extended Horseshoe Creek paddle, and most of the recent Show-n-Go’s – who are you
calling obsessed?
© 2007 Dennis K. Biby
Published in January 2007 Lowcountry Paddlers newsletter
Photo by Andy Anderson
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